Parenting plan: what it should include and how it works

When parents with children decide to separate, their first conversations often focus on the family home, child maintenance or the division of assets. However, one of the issues that will have the greatest impact on the children’s daily lives is how their care will be organised and how they will maintain their relationship with both parents.

Who will take them to school? How will the holidays be divided? What happens if one of the children becomes ill while staying with the other parent? How will decisions about their education or health be made?

A parenting plan helps answer these questions before they become a recurring source of conflict. In this article, we explain what a parenting plan should include, when it is used and how it can be adapted to the needs of each family.

 

What exactly is a parenting plan?

A parenting plan is a document in which parents set out how they will exercise their parental responsibilities and how the care of their children will be organised following the separation.

It should not merely state whether custody will be shared or granted primarily to one parent. Its purpose is to establish clear arrangements regarding schedules, handovers and collections, holidays, communication, education, healthcare and important decisions.

A parenting plan should therefore not be based on a standard form used identically by every family. An effective plan must take account of factors such as:

• The age and needs of the children.
• The parents’ working hours.
• The distance between the parents’ homes.
• The children’s school and activities.
• The parents’ actual ability to communicate.
• Any specific educational or medical needs.

For a brief explanation of the concept and its legal meaning, you can visit our Legal Dictionary entry on parenting plans.

 

When is a parenting plan used and when is it mandatory?

In separation or divorce proceedings involving minor children, the parents must establish arrangements concerning their care, custody, communication, time spent with each parent and the exercise of parental responsibility.

In territories governed by the Spanish Civil Code, there is generally no requirement to submit a separate document formally referred to as a parenting plan. However, it may be incorporated into the divorce settlement agreement or used as a detailed proposal regarding the arrangements for the children.

It can be particularly useful in both mutual agreement and contentious proceedings:

• In mutual agreement proceedings, it may be incorporated into the divorce settlement agreement or submitted as an annex.
• In contentious proceedings, it may be used to present a specific, realistic proposal adapted to the children’s needs.
• When unmarried parents separate, it may be used to organise the arrangements concerning their children.

In Catalonia, by contrast, the Catalan Civil Code expressly regulates parenting plans and requires parents to submit their proposals when it is necessary to determine how parental responsibilities will be exercised.

Because the applicable rules vary between territories, it is always advisable to determine which civil law applies to the particular case.

 

Difference between a parenting plan and a divorce settlement agreement

Although the two documents are related, they do not have exactly the same scope:

 

In practice, the two documents must be consistent. For example, the custody schedules established in the parenting plan should correspond with the financial arrangements and provisions concerning the use of the family home contained in the divorce settlement agreement.

 

 

What should a parenting plan include?

The content should be adapted to each family, but there are several matters that should be addressed expressly.

Child custody arrangements

The first step is to determine whether custody will be shared or primarily exercised by one parent and to specify where the children will stay at any given time.

It is not enough to state that the arrangement will involve “alternate weeks” or “alternate weekends”. The plan should specify the start and end days and times, as well as the arrangements that will apply during the school term.

In this article, you can learn how Spanish courts decide between shared and sole custody.

Main residence

The plan should specify where the children will ordinarily live and, where custody is shared, how their time will be divided between the two parents’ homes.

It may also be advisable to establish what will happen if one parent wishes to move to another town or city, particularly where the move would affect the children’s school, activities or regular relationship with the other parent.

Handovers, collections and changes of care

The handover of the children is one of the issues most likely to cause conflict. This plan should clarify:

• Where handovers and collections will take place.
• Who will be responsible for transporting the children.
• What will happen when the changeover coincides with the beginning or end of the school day.
• How any exceptional travel costs will be divided, where applicable.
• What margin of delay may reasonably be accepted.

A simple and predictable arrangement can help minimise the impact of changes in care on the children.

Holidays and special occasions

The plan should regulate the summer, Christmas and Easter holidays, as well as other dates that are important to the family.

It may also establish what will happen on:

• The children’s birthdays.
• Each parent’s birthday.
• Mother’s Day and Father’s Day.
• Long weekends and non-school days.
• Important family celebrations.

It is advisable to establish how the holiday periods will be selected each year, which parent will have priority in even-numbered or odd-numbered years and how far in advance the dates must be communicated.

Communication with the parent the children are not staying with

While the children are staying with one parent, the other parent should be able to maintain appropriate contact with them.

The plan may specify the frequency and method of communication—such as telephone calls, video calls or messaging—but should avoid creating an excessively rigid or intrusive system.

Communication should be adapted to the child’s age and schedule, as well as their right to enjoy time with each parent without feeling constantly monitored.

Division of everyday responsibilities

In addition to dividing the children’s time, it is advisable to establish how everyday responsibilities will be managed, including:

• Attending school meetings.
• Purchasing school materials and uniforms.
• Taking the children to medical appointments.
• Monitoring homework and activities.
• Administering medication.
• Renewing identity documents and passports.

The aim is not to turn every everyday task into a formal obligation, but to prevent important responsibilities from being overlooked or consistently falling on the same parent.

Education, healthcare and extracurricular activities

The plan should establish how decisions and information concerning the children’s education, health and wellbeing will be shared.

Among other matters, it may regulate:

• The choice or change of school.
• Extracurricular activities.
• Private tuition or educational support.
• Medical or psychological treatment.
• How appointments, diagnoses and reports will be communicated.
• Both parents’ access to educational and medical information.

The costs arising from these matters should be coordinated with the provisions regarding child maintenance and extraordinary expenses contained in the divorce settlement agreement.

Important decisions

Child custody should not be confused with parental authority. Even where the children live mainly with one parent, important decisions will usually need to be made jointly when parental responsibility is shared.

The plan may specify how decisions will be made regarding:

• A change in the children’s residence.
• The choice or change of school.
• Non-emergency medical treatment.
• The issue of passports and identity documents.
• Travel abroad.
• Activities that may have a significant impact on the child’s life.

It is also advisable to establish a communication channel that creates a record of proposals and responses, particularly when communication between the parents is difficult.

A mechanism for resolving disagreements

No parenting plan can anticipate every situation that may arise during the children’s childhood and adolescence. It is therefore useful to establish how disagreements will be addressed before court proceedings are considered.

Where appropriate, the plan may provide for negotiation between the parents, the involvement of their lawyers or the use of family mediation.

This does not prevent either parent from seeking judicial protection where necessary, and alternative dispute resolution is not appropriate in every case, particularly where there are indications of violence, serious power imbalances or a risk to the children.

 

How detailed should a parenting plan be?

A plan that is too general may be insufficient, while an excessively rigid plan may make it difficult to adapt to the children’s changing needs.

Before signing it, parents should check whether the plan clearly answers questions such as:

• Where will the children stay on each day of the week?
• Who will collect them and where will the changeover take place?
• How will holidays and non-school days be divided?
• How will medical appointments and school meetings be communicated?
• Which decisions require the consent of both parents?
• How will a proposed change of residence be managed?
• What will happen if a parent cannot care for the children during their allocated time?
• How will the plan be reviewed as the children’s needs change?

The key is to find a balance between clarity, flexibility and practical viability.

 

What legal validity does a parenting plan have?

The legal effectiveness of the plan will depend on how it has been formalised.

• Where its content is incorporated into a court-approved divorce settlement agreement or included in a court order, the arrangements may be legally enforced in the event of non-compliance.
• A private agreement between the parents may serve as a useful organisational reference, but it does not necessarily replace the arrangements approved by the court and may not offer the same enforcement options.

Where minor children are involved, it is therefore important for the parenting plan to be consistent with the divorce settlement agreement, the arrangements requested in the proceedings and the best interests of the children.

 

 

Can a parenting plan be amended?

Yes. A family’s needs change over time. An arrangement that works well for a four-year-old child may no longer be appropriate when the child begins secondary school.

The plan may need to be reviewed when circumstances change, including:

• A significant change in working hours.
• One parent moving home.
• A change of school.
• New educational or medical needs.
• Changes in the children’s needs as they grow older.
• An ongoing inability to comply with the existing arrangements.

If the arrangements were approved by the court, any amendment must be formalised through a new court-approved agreement or the corresponding modification of measures proceedings.

It is not advisable to follow a verbal arrangement that differs from the court order for an extended period, as this can create legal uncertainty and difficulties if a dispute later arises.

 

Common mistakes when drafting a parenting plan

Some of the most common problems include:

• Using ambiguous expressions such as “whenever possible” or “by prior agreement” without establishing an alternative when no agreement can be reached.
• Setting schedules that are incompatible with the family’s actual working or school arrangements.
• Failing to regulate handovers, collections and travel.
• Overlooking holidays, long weekends or non-school days.
• Failing to establish how medical and school reports will be shared.
• Confusing everyday decisions with decisions that require the consent of both parents.
• Drafting the plan solely in response to the current conflict rather than considering the children’s future needs.

A parenting plan should not be used to control the other parent’s life or perpetuate the conflict between the adults. Its purpose is to provide stability for the children and facilitate the responsible exercise of parenting.

 

Legal advice before signing

Drafting a parenting plan during a separation can be particularly difficult. At a time of emotional tension, certain clauses may appear reasonable but later become a recurring source of disagreement.

At Zabalgo Family Lawyers, we analyse the family’s actual circumstances to help establish clear, viable arrangements adapted to the children’s needs.

For legal advice, you can consult our service on parent-child measures.

Request a consultation with Zabalgo Family Lawyers